Well, I done it again, I’ve signed up for Weight Watchers. I’ve had great success with them and epic failure when I’ve not followed their weight loss plan. I’ll be honest, I’ve yo-yoed with my weight these last three years I’ve been doing this blog. I’ve gone down and up in shirt sizes I’ve experienced good health and not so good health. I’ve gone through knee breakages and surgery. I’ve struggled with my oh so love for food in a bad way. And I’ve blogged about some of these things too. Some say I’m hard on myself. That might be so. But I say that I need to be honest with myself and keep myself accountable to what truly matters–physical, emotional, and spiritual health.
“Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.” 1 Corinthians 9:24-25
In other words, we’re in this great race, heading to the finish line which is eternity
“Therefore, I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.” 1 Corinthians 9:26-27
I am in leadership. I am a leader. And I need to lead from the inside out. If I cannot take care of myself, how can I help take care of and lead others. Leadership starts with me. This includes being healthy physically, emotionally, and spiritually. If I cannot be like that, then I myself, when I preach, when I lead, will be found wanting and as Paul says “disqualified for the prize.” I don’t want that. I want to lead with integrity and honesty and from the inside out.
And so I go once more into the breach. I go once more waging war against my own personal issues and demons. I wage war against what I struggle with. Oh, food, you taste so good. But I must remember I eat to live not live to eat. And I must be careful what I do eat and how I eat it.
In some ways, good itself can become an idol. And idol is something that replaces or is raised to the same level as God himself. And that can be dangerous. Instead of seeking comfort from God, I sometimes seek comfort from food. Instead of searching for God in troubling times, I search the cupboards for chocolate.
Food itself isn’t bad. It’s needed. It’s something that we all need to have to survive. But it isn’t the end all.
And so, once more into the breach my friends, once more into the breach. I head into the battle of the bulge, more or less. My goal is to loose the weight needed to be healthy. That’s my goal. I have what I think would be a great weight, but I want to be healthy for me most of all.
And so, I do battle. I once again must run like I mean it, box like I want it, and strive for the prize so that I may not be found wanting in the end.
There is so much more to write about, so much more tied into this but I won’t go into it now (so not enough space for a simple blog).
Am I hard on myself? Maybe. Do I want to succeed? Yes.
And so I go once more into the breach, seeking the prize of health so that I might lead from the inside out.