Last week, the good news was that it was 80% sure benign. Like I said, it’ll take those odds. In fact, I’m to the point now where I’ve dropped the 80% and just go with benign. First it’s a lot easier to say. And secondly it, well, just sounds a lot better than saying 80% sure.
But I’m still waiting. I’m still waiting to hear from the surgeon on when surgery might be. It’s not as important now as it might have been a week ago, but I still want to know something. It’s like waiting for your paper back. You know, that paper you worked really hard on in school, the one who devoted a ton of time and effort in. And if it should take you a whole night to write, it should take the professor a whole night to grade. Right? Well, that’s the anxiety I’m feeling right now.
My ear is tuned not to the music of Air 1 right now as I right this but to the non-existent ringing of the phone. I’m almost half tempted to test the phone to make sure it works, but then I worry “What if they call when I do that?” So I try to get work done. I try to sermonate and wrestle with God’s word while I wait word from the surgeon.
The waiting is the hardest part.