I don’t really know what to write, to tell the truth. Writer’s block and guilt have done a double grip around my throat and are choking the thoughts out of me in ways that are quite annoying. I have some burdens of guilt that I’ve gained weight and haven’t been as healthy as I should be. I’ve worked at it, truly I have. But it still seems to not be working.
And so with the feeling of inadequacy I neglect to write until I truly feel that something strikes me or that I strike something. I’ve not been on my heavy bag for a week and I miss it. I haven’t hit my weights in a month and I miss them. And I think that they miss me. Or at least my weights. I’m not sure my heavy bag wants to be beaten around. I’m quite sure it’s perfectly fine hanging on its stand in my garage. One day it might have its revenge upon me.
But I’ve been going through a “meh” phase of things. I’ve been busy. I’ve been having lunch meetings which never truly help at all. They usually kill the diet even when you try to eat healthily, they still strike at you from behind. Even salads are dipped heavily in caloric awesomeness. Leafy greens are good for you just not when drowning in a sea of Thousand Island dressing.
The other day, I came across this verse and it struck me:
Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord, is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation. Isaiah 12:2
And so I’ve been focusing on that verse in my head and in my heart. I’ve been focusing on the fact that even in the “meh” times, he’s my strength and my song. I imagine the song with a strong metal/grunge guitar riff along with a hard bass drum pounding in the background. I couldn’t handle the song being emo and I couldn’t take it if it was soft rock. And his song isn’t something like an old Southern Gospel hymn. No. It’s energizing. It’s flowing. It’s hitting and it hits the right chords at the right time.
It’s like when I put on tunage when I left or go on my heavy bag. I crank up the music and go at it. Energized.
And so, I’ve been doing heavy lifting in prayer. I’ve been praying for my church, for my friends, for my family an the people I know. So I’m doing some workouts but spiritual. Heavy lifting spiritually takes a lot out of you, but it gives so much back in return.
So that is a ramble from having writer’s block these last few days. If there’s any heavy lifting in prayer that you need, let me know and I’ll pray for you too.