And lead me not into temptation

Ever since sometime back when I wrote my post on gluttony, I’ve had people tell me that it’s not about eating too much but about our bodies and how each body is different. And I hear that. We are all made differently. We are all unique. We are all fearfully and wonderfully made. That is so very true. But there’s also something in the spirit of a person that food just takes over. And this is where I struggle–emotional eating and eating in general. And that’s where gluttony comes in. And this is where I’ve made somewhat of a break through.

My kids and I have made it a thing that they have Daddy night with me once a month at a place called Pizza Ranch. And they have two things that keeps drawing me back: An awesome all you can eat pizza buffet and kids eat free on Tuesday nights. What’s not to like about that?

The problem with me is that “all you can eat” is a challenge and not the definition of the buffet. And there are times where it just gets away from me. And I fall into that temptation of just chowin down on Bronco pizza, their Bar-B-Que Chicken pizza, this awesome Chicken Alfredo pizza and a whole bunch more. Love it. And I love it some more and some more and some more and then I begin to feel like I’m going to puke because I loved it so much. It’s not that I don’t have control it’s that I don’t know how to use it.

But last night was different, I actually controlled it. I didn’t go overboard like I used to. I only went back once and didn’t get as much as I used to. Yes, I still had their soft serve ice cream but I didn’t go hog wild either.

During tough times in my life, food became an escape and a way to dull the pain. It became a way to not have to face the issues. Instead it became a way to disappear and pretend the world didn’t exist outside this nice eclair.

Each day I take a step forward knowing that food isn’t what I need. I mean, yes, I need to have something to eat, but not to gorge on like I’ve fallen back into the habit of doing. I need the spiritual food of Christ (yes, I’m going there remember it is Spiritual Musclehead). I need to be fed by the Word of the Bible I need to be fed by his love and care. And this is hard sometimes. Yet over the last few weeks, I’ve realized just how much I’ve shifted by dependance from Christ to food. And this is what gluttony is, shifting dependance from Christ to Food. And so, I must shift my dependance back to Christ, one crumb at a time.

What about you? Do you have an area that you go to for dependance and comfort instead of coming to Jesus? Does it get in the way of your own spiritual walk?

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2 Responses to And lead me not into temptation

  1. Melinda says:

    Hi Josh, really enjoy reading your journey and the comments about relationship to food. I can comment in many ways because I have a portion control and emotional eating imbalance that rears its ugly head every so often. I would say, from what I read, that the guilt you feel about food’s role in your life can be just as distracting as the thoughts of food themselves. Give yourself a mental cushion, especially as you take on fasting to focus on spirituality. You like food, you were created to like food, and you won’t magically erase all the food opportunities around you. The best thing you could do is to relax, and the “frantic” feeling will start to die down and it won’t feel so hard to make better choices. What worked for me is to not eliminate the things I like, but to be more reasonable about how much and how often I could have them. If I really wanted strawberry ice cream, then I would make myself eat a hearty bowl of vegetables before I allowed myself to have it. If I wanted a serving of the cheesiest gooey mac, I would research ways to make the recipe a little healthier or add veggies to balance out the cheesy carbs. Having a family means those snackable moments will be there, but find a way to build that into your day instead of them adding up on top of your mealtimes. The Pizza Ranch date with kids is awesome–consider a pre-dinner playtime workout (jumping jacks! sledding! Wii fit!) or alternating salad between slices to eliminate the presence of guilt distracting the joy of spending time with the kids. I’m not the best role model right now, since I have been “eating for two” during the last year of pregnancy and nursing, but I’m mentally okay with that. I encourage you to continue in your efforts, be aware of the mental power it has, but to also forgive yourself and allow yourself to be human!

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