I’m frightened of my bathroom scale. It’s not right. It sits there in the bathroom staring at me. Just looking at me. And then, when I step on it, it has that flashing red light. That one line red light that flashes and dares me to guess what my weight is. And so, I’ve been frightened of stepping on it for fear that it might still be trying to wipe out all of humanity or something like that.
Okay, so that’s not totally true. Part of the reason why I’ve been dreading stepping on my scale is because I’m worried about the truth. Since September I’ve not been to the gym due to sickness and then injury. I’ve had a lot of stress in my life lately and instead of sticking to Weight Watchers, I dropped it to save money and then began emotionally eating. Well, I kinda began emotionally eating and then dropped Weight Watchers because I kept feeling guilty at my weigh in, even though the app was very polite and encouraging.
This morning, I finally cowboyed up and stepped on the scale. My fear was that I gained all my weight back I started with and then some. Back in October, I had gotten down to 305. My fear was that I was at 340. I started Weight Watchers at 330. And so, I stepped on the scale. 325. I felt better. It wasn’t as bad as I thought. It was still weight gain, but it could have been worse. My fears were genuine but they got in the way of me truly knowing where I was weight wise.It has also helped give me a point of reference to where I need to go.
I’m not sure I’m going back on Weight Watchers right now, but I have learned a few things and I’ve started applying them for the last few weeks. I will do this. And Cylons be damned.