My letter to Sven

Where’d you go Sven!?! You’re supposed to be the Guardian of the Fridge. You are the mighty viking who stays in the way of me and extra pounds. Where’ve you been? Did you go on vacation and not tell me? Did you start working part time doing mall security? I need you Sven! Help me Sven the Viking, you’re my only hope.

Okay, Sven, what if I pay you twice as much as I’m paying you know and I’ll have you not only protect the fridge and the cupboards from my bad emotional eating right now, but I’ll also have you beat a drum and stuff to get me to exercise more. C’mon Sven, I know I’m not actually paying you and that you’re imaginary and you’re shield looks like the Rebel Alliance, but still, c’mon, throw me a bone or something.

Okay, Sven, maybe I’m putting a bit too much on your shoulders. I know the holidays are here, Christmas is coming, and I may not be the only person who sees you as an imaginary character who boldly defends the fridge like Gandalf at the bridge. Fine. Okay. I get it. I know you have others in your lie as well…okay, this is getting weird.

Here’s what I’m thinking. If you guard the door to the fridge and the cupboards for me, I’ll keep getting diet root beer and not buy the junk food which I then put in the cupboards and the fridge expecting you to then to protect them and not let me at them. It does sound a bit self defeating if I put it like that.

So, what a second, I don’t really need you if I don’t actually buy that stuff and put it in the fridge. Hmm…. I think I know where you’re going with this Sven, but I’m not sure if I like it or not. What if you stay until Christmas is over and then come the New Years, we’ll see what we can work out. Not sure what, but we can do something.

Tell you what, you think it over and I’m going to grab a cookie. I gotta get that junk food out of the house one way or another.

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