When I am weak

I’m not liking this. I’m not liking being told I can’t do something. Whenever I’ve been told “You can’t” to me that’s a challenge not a deceleration. I was told I was physically unable to learn Hebrew due to language aphasia. Guess what I did? Yeah. I learned it. Spent hours working on it. But I did it. When I was told that I couldn’t win against Apollo Creed, guess what I did? Wait, that’s Rocky.

But now that I’ve been sick for the last month, I’ve been told I can’t push myself to hard. That I can’t lift weights. I can’t go all ape poopy on my heavy bag. I can’t even jump rope. I said watch me and guess what happened? I nearly passed out. This walking pneumonia is one big bad word.

So, I have to accept my weakness. Which I hate. I really do. I mean, c’mon, I have to actually admit that I cannot do something! You gotta be kidding me? I can’t do something? I’ve always been able to do what I put my mind to. Yet, this one time, I can’t. And it bugs the frak out of me, to tell the truth.

So, what do I do? I think of these words from Paul who had a thorn in his side that wouldn’t come out. He begged and begged for it to come out and it didn’t. Then Jesus said to him

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

So, I will live in this weakness. For when I am weak then is He strong. Now, I just gotta keep telling myself that over and over again. I have to stop. And admit I can’t do something. I need to stop and trust that Jesus will do what he said he would. He is the Great Physician so why can’t use medication to heal me. So, I must rest and wait. I’ll maybe get my geek on with reading some Full Metal Alchemist. That might work.

What about you? What weakness/es are you struggling with right now?

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2 Responses to When I am weak

  1. Amanda Askins says:

    Weakness: those sad days and their all entirely consuming nature. When I get down, I get REALLY down…I’m probably looking for strength or answers in all the wrong places, such as medication. Still looking for that answer…

    • jbenton8 says:

      There are those sad days in our lives, I will admit that. And to say “cheer up, it’ll get better” does a great disservice to those who are going through those hard times. To admit weakness is hard, to accept it is even harder. To seek help is even harder than that. To seek assistance from medication and doctors/psychiatrists is good. It is saying that you are being proactive in your attempt to work with your weakness. Seek God as well through Christ. But also know that God doesn’t always save you from the storms in life, but he does save you and walk with you through them. I don’t know your full story nor am I asking but I will be praying for you. Josh

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