In the Bible it says that the sins of the father will be passed down to the third and fourth generation. From a psychological/family systems point of view, what this is saying is that the bad habits of the parents are passed down to the child. In many ways, one of the goals in life is to break the cycle of that negative behavior.
Yeah, way too heady for me right now so I’m not going much into it. One things for sure though, my son’s been picking up on my geekatude. He’s heavily into Transformers now. He loves Star Wars, he even knows what a Sarlaac pit is. Yeah, he’s cool like that. He is getting his identity from me. He is learning from me what it means to be a man. And I so don’t want to fail him on that.
But this got me thinking about another father I grew up watching. Grew up watching and saw how he felt he had failed. Saw how his son felt he had failed. Yes, I’m speaking of Worf and his son Alexander.
Worf son of Mogh, lived a life of failure in many ways. He was a strong Klingon. To tell the truth, he in many ways is more Klingon than Klingons. In my mind (and of fans) he is the epitome of what it means to be a Klingon. Yet he still lived with the shame of being raised by humans. He lived with the shame knowing that his father was blamed for the destruction and massacre of the Kithomer colony outpost.
After the death of his babymamma (that is what Alexander’s mother basically was, no offense), Worf attempted to raise his son Alexander. The shame of the father was passed down to his son. His son did not take a Klingon name. Maybe this could protect his son. Maybe. But soon Alexander was sent to live with Worf’s adoptive parents and was raised amongst humans, even taking their last name Rozhenko (Row-shank-O). Sadly, we do not see the child Alexander again until the war with the Dominion. And then, he comes in attempting to be a Klingon but keeps the surname Rozhenko. Again, shame for Worf that his son fighting on a Klingon Bird of Prey knows nothing of his own Klingon heritage, the honor, the valor, the philosophy of what it means to be Klingon and Worf is teased because of it.
As a father, I fear failing my son. I fear that I will bring him shame, that I will create in him some wound that will take years of therapy (and in turn tons of money) to deal with. I don’t want to pass down my shame to him. I don’t want to pass down my own personal demons, my own failures as a man down to him.
Instead, I so want to pass down to him those qualities that are good. Are honorable. What I like about the relationship between Worf and Alexander is that Worf, after some struggles of his own, is able to welcome back his son into his life and Alexander is able to welcome his father back into his life too. Worf is then able to begin passing down the honor, the valor, all that it means to him to be Klingon down to Alexander.
I want to do this for my own son too. I deeply want to teach him what it means to be a man of God. I want him to know the importance and honor it is to be a disciple of Jesus Christ. I want him to know that he is strong in Jesus. I want him to know the honor and valor and responsibilities that are required to be a man of God. I want him to have what I had to learn.
If Worf can do it, so can I, but by the Grace of God go I.