Yeah. My pick up’s down again. I love it. It’s old and classic…and 3 years younger than me.
What’s wrong with it? Leaking oil something awful. Went on a hospital visit today and it was running rough where the engine’s going “chuggity-chug-chug-thump, chuggity-chug-chug-thump.” And I’m thinking that’s probably not a good sound. I did some auto shop back in high school, but that’s because I was bringing in my 1977 Buick Skylark constantly to work on the breaks and repair the master cylinder. That’s not enough to work on a classic like this thing. Grant it that back in high school I wasn’t reflecting on the fact that the Buick Skylark was my age as well. You don’t think about those things when you’re in high school.
But, boy howdy, you sure do in your 30’s. What’s getting me is that when looking at my pick up, I’m starting to look at my own mortality. Don’t know why I’m getting so stinking deep in a short blog, but yeah. That’s right. I’m starting to see my own failures, my own shortcomings and it’s scaring the bejeebers out of me. I don’t want to fail. I don’t want to mess up. I don’t want to be curled up in a ball on the living room floor rocking back and forth trying to find my happy place.
While hitting the bike at the gym tonight (again, too tired right now to lift weights, so I’m biking instead) I was listening to a podcast by Lifechurch.tv. Been listening to them a lot when I do cardio. I was watching one of their podcasts on quitting fear. And yeah, I’m afraid. So, I must face it.
For me, I think of these verses
You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. Psalm 32:7 NIV
Unto thee, O LORD, do I lift up my soul. O my God, I trust in thee: let me not be ashamed, let not mine enemies triumph over me. Psalm 25:1 KJV
And the one verse that kept hitting me over and over again
For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV
So I’m going to face my fears. No freakin’ idea how right now..but at least I know what needs to be done.
As for my old pick up? Still working on that one.. do I take lessons in auto shop again?
What about you? What fears do you need to face right now in your life?